You're good for someone who owns a vagina

Hello.

It's me.

It's been four years and so much has changed. Except I'm still angry. So angry that I decided to revive a four year old blog for it. 

People, we need to talk about vaginas.

Having a vagina is a handicap. How? Well:

YOU'RE GOOD FOR A GIRL.

While I was growing into the dykey dyke I am today, I did a lot of things that are considered boy's things. You know, those things that result in you being labeled a tomboy. As an adult gay, I still do boy's things. I'm a drummer. I'm a longboarder. I have an opinion. I like putting up my own shelves. I mostly wear men's clothing (because until someone makes a nice t-shirt that isn't shiny or that doesn't have SWAG or YOLO written on it, I'm fucking out). I'm dating a girl. That kind of stuff. 

As I've grown older, my perception of how women are treated in circles that are male dominated has grown too. Being in a band really changed things for me. We would gig almost every week. Notably, we were an all-girl band and this meant a lot of vaginas on stage and a lot of dicks in the crowd. But not only in the crowd. 

The bands we gig with (and the event organisers and venue owners) probably account for the biggest sense of misogyny in the scene. It's a male dominated scene and women are simply not taken seriously. You can be incredibly talented, but your vagina disqualifies you and leads to a sort of patronising respect. 'I really respect that as women they can come on stage and make good music.' TRANSLATED: They can make music and have vaginas at the same time. That's mad skill.

Anyway, I let it go because I love making music and because I left the all-girl band and there's a penis in my new band so maybe that will help. As an aside but still very relevant, this happened the other day:

Guy: So how's the band going? You guys managing to get stuff done?
Me: Yeah, we're going slow because we're writing really technical music but we're having a good time. Much happier than what I was in my previous band.
Guy: Ah but dude there's a guy in your band now right? So he's probably running the show.
ME: Yeah it's hard to have a vagina and do others things. We need the penis to guide us.

Moving along. 

My girlfriend, my best friend and I have recently become involved in the local longboarding scene. Now that we're a little more involved in it, I've discovered that there are two very different scenes within the cult. There's the official scene, and then there's the scene for those of us who don't make the cut of the official scene. 

I'm sure I don't need to tell you that the latter is full of the most wonderful people who don't wish to subscribe to the bullshit of the official scene.

We attended one of the longboarding races a while ago. These happen once every few months. There's a points scoring system with some big prizes at the end. This was the first official race of the season and we hadn't been to one before so we were keen to check it out, though we didn't plan on racing.

We got there, skated around a bit, and came across two other female riders. Okay so in an entire city, there are a total of five female riders now. 

At some point, the organiser came up to me and asked if we were going to race because they wanted to do a women's heat. Because why?
Well guys. Vaginas mean you need to be put the fuck aside with other vaginas. It means that you aren't put in a race based on your skill level. It means that you need to race with other vaginas so that you don't distract the men, who are the REAL racers.  

Needless to say I told him no thanks. But my favourite part was at the end when the time came to hand out the random prizes. 

The two other women who were skating around with us (but who also didn't race) each got a prize.

HEY YOU GET A PRIZE FOR BEING ABLE TO SKATE WITH A VAGINA BECAUSE HOW DO YOU JUST SKATE AROUND WITH THAT THING IN YOUR PANTS AND ALSO BOOBS GUYS, THOSE THINGS MUST REALLY WEAR YOU DOWN SO PLEASE TAKE THIS PRIZE AS A TOKEN OF OUR RESPECT AND THANK YOU FOR COMING AND FOR BRINGING YOUR VAGINAS WE'RE REALLY KEEN TO GET WOMEN INVOLVED IN THE SPORT BUT MOSTLY ON THE SIDELINES BECAUSE DON'T BE JOINING OUR RACES AND DISTRACTING OUR MANHOOD WITH YOUR TALENT. 


End.