I know we all enjoy a quickie

So, this little post is dedicated to a few of the stupid things that people I know have said and done. Lord knows I've had my own moments, but you can post that on your own blog.

Eg. 1

Girl’s status on Facebook : Was a fog outside my door this morning. Not happy!

Me (Assuming she meant frog) : Fogs. Can't trust them hey. Being all misty and shit.

Girl: I know right? I can't handle them.

Me: I know. Imagine a whole family of fogs? Kinda wouldn’t know where to go.

Girl: At last! Someone who understands my pain.

Me: Yeah, I’m in some pain now.

Girl : Why, what’s wrong??

By this time, I’d given up. Stupid wins.

I would totally do a screen shot of this status and paste it here… but after a few weeks I think she realized that I was making fun of her that entire time and she deleted her post.

Eg. 2

Girl : If you’re happy and you know it, klap your hands *klap klap*

Sharlie: Or we could clap?

This girl takes the cake for stupid. She could have her own stupid cake. She could bake it AND eat it. I think eventually she deleted me from Facebook . Pity. I was always waiting for the next stupid thing she’d say. The suspense killed me.

Eg. 3

Girl: Wow, this weather is crazy. It must be global warning.

Me: Well thank god it’s not global warming.

Eg. 4

My 29 year old sister: I wouldn’t wanna go to France. I can’t speak a word of France.

Me: Or English.

So I would like to update this post with a few of your (the 5 people that I know read this blog) stupid people moments. Please send them to me and I can add them here!!

I heard you're gangster, I'm pretty gangster myself, yo!!!

So, post no. 2.

Still not sure why I’m doing this blog thing. The inspiration for this post comes from a conversation with a friend of mine on BBM today. It’s a funny-turned-serious post. So for those of you who think you’re going to be bored, please continue with Farmville, or that porn that you were watching. Please remember to forward any good porn to my personal email address.  The midget porn one of you sent me last time had a virus on that made everything on my pc really small.... (Drum roll aaannnnd *crash*)

The conversation went as follows:

Me: Dude, what IS South Star Saints anyway? (The tattoo she and several other lesbians recently had done)

Girl: LOL (cringe) it’s the name of our group thingy

Me: A group thingy? Like…. A gang?

Girl: Hahahaha not a gang, makes us sound dodge.

Me: Hahahaha ok. So, what does your group thingy do? And what happens when you’re 40 and no more part of the group? Do you guys have a theme song?

Girl: hahahaha it’s easy to cover up and we always have each others back and we always together

Me: What if you move to the North?

Girl: LOL (good god) it doesn’t matter I live in the North

Me: (already bored) That’s a total contradiction. Why did you get it on your calf?

Girl: Cause ima make it a full calf piece, that’s the beginning of it

Me:  Are you going to go in all different directions? Like, north south east west? You could be ‘North Side Stoppers’, or ‘West Winged Apotheosis’. Or ‘Elderly from the East’... See cuz by the time you get the east one, you could be old. If you do it now, you should do it on your thigh, so that by the time you’re 50 it’s on your calf. God forbid you move somewhere central. That would be a problem.

She then sent a reply that sparked the serious bit in our conversation.

Girl: LOL (FML) hahahahahahahahaha (cuz I’m THAT funny) Rissa you are not normal (Me – hahahahahahahahahaha LOL?) they just mean a lot to me cause they helped me out when I had no one else LOL (…) they even fucked up a transvestite who tried its luck with me and scared the shit out of me.

Me: My dude. People who beat up other people, are not your friends. They’re people who feel the need to beat up people who are different in order to feel better about their own shit. Transvestites are people, all you needed to do was say “Yo, please back off”. Transsexual or transgendered (not sure of the correct English term for this) people are like us dude, so discriminating against them while we hate homophobes is a complete contradiction. So don’t hate on homophobes when your friends go around beating up transsexuals.

She didn’t reply.

So…

I would normally be the one to say something. I am rather opinionated. I say something when I morally disagree.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had an experience with a gay person who has an issue with a transvestite. I find that discrimination between transvestites, gays, lesbians and I’ll even include hermaphrodites in this, is common.

I am appalled, and actually incredibly offended. We are the first to say ‘stop homophobia’, while we turn around and make jokes about people like Caster Semenya. If we as homosexuals want anything in our world to change, I think a big part of the change needs to take place within our own community. We don’t want hate but we ourselves, hate.
A friend’s status the other day - “I hate homophobes.” This attitude is only going to drive the nail deeper into the coffin, I rate.

Girl’s friends are probably going to come after me now. I could hit her with these words, but I doubt my words will be very effective while she’s hitting me with a brick.

Let’s hope I live long enough to post my 3^rd blog. Good things happen in 3’s, apparently.

Introduction

Heyyyyy guys!

I figured that I needed to feel cool and have an awesome blog. I will be cool. I will. I’m just waiting for chest hair. I will be cool.

Anyway, I am the proud owner of a blog. I added a picture for effect.

My first blog post. You see I could make it great and thereby set the standard for the rest of my blogs, or I could make this one rather sucky and have them become progressively awesome-er. Then every time you read my blog you’ll be like ‘Hey, this chick keeps getting BETTER!’ and I’ll be like ‘Hey look at me go!’

I could post about lesbians. But my friend already does that so beautifully.

I could create some sort of a photo blog thing, but this girl makes me look like an amateur.

I could try and be funny but you see, my sense of humour is a little sadistic.

For example:

The one time, this kid was walking with his bicycle next to him, and he tripped. He tripped and in one swift movement flew over his bike and did a face plant at my feet. My first reaction? “BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!”

His parents looked at me with disapproval. The kid wasn’t too happy either. I was. It was the funniest thing I’d seen all day.

Another time – I was sitting on the deck at Willard Beach in Ballito. There were 3 kids, a brother (about 12) and sister (about 7) and one dude who seemed to be like one of those loners who just pick a friend and become an appendage for the rest of the holiday. I used to get a lot of those. For some reason I had this ability to attract the creepiest loners. The ones who follow you around and do everything you do but actually say NOTHING. Not even hello. Sometimes you aren’t even sure if they speak. But religiously, every day you would meet at the same place and carry on with your awesome kid stuff that you do, along with this mute friend. At the end of it all, you just leave, or he just leaves.

Now that I think about it, that is perfect. A temporary attachment who would share the same experiences, do what you do, like what you like. Company, a silent friendship, an understanding. And then when it’s done, it’s done. You leave, he leaves and no one is sad.

I am digressing slightly, so let me continue.

Ballito, on the deck. The 3 kids had found a rock, slightly higher than the sand bank itself. The boys decided to run and ramp themselves off of the rock, doing awesome spinning things and flips in the air before they hit the sand.

The girl, being a girl, said, “You think you’re cool?? WATCH THIS!!!!”

She ran. Her face painted with determination and willpower. Her expression screamed ‘I WILL be awesome’.

She ran from so far back that by the time she got to the rock she was tired. I sat up in my chair. I knew this was going to be good. She leaped from the rock, arms outstretched like Superman. And somehow, that’s exactly how she went down. I don’t know what happened between the rock and the sand, but her face hit the sand first.

My reaction?

“BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA *choke on my gum* BAAAHAHAHAHAHA *can’t breathe* HAHAHAHAHAHA *fall on floor*” 

I’m sure by now you get the picture? 

I will most likely spend the next 12 blogs trying to figure out what I’m blogging about.